Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
