thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
