I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
