He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so let's talk penis.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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