WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
