I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize