I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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