Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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