i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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