What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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