I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
