Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
