I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Everyone says I win the strip club
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
