Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize