I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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