Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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