this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize