Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
