shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
