drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
