No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
