I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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