We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
