I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
