If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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