EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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