If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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