So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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