dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
