Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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