You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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