Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
