it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
