I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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