i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize