so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
