and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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