i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I wish there were birth control emojis
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
