just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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