just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize