How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
