we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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