I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
