If that was your dad, he is hot
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
