After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
