i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
