once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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