he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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