I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
