I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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