just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
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