i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
