you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
