I'm really into asian looking animals
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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