That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
