did you get engaged???
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
