that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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