i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize