We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
