I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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