Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
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It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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