This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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